Adventures in Unemployment

It is such an odd feeling to be able to go about my day freely, to not be in a hurry to go to work or to another class. I found myself at the Institute talking with Judy the lovely receptionist about a number of things starting with the loss of my job as a blessing. 

I was looking at the the 7 stages of grief and I have made it through Denial, Guilt, Bargaining, and Anger. I am now in the stage of Rejection and possibly Depression, and most defiantly in the stage of Disorientation.  I spent 3 hours at the Unemployment office filing a claim and getting situated back into the job world yet again. It was actually really exciting and fun to focus on what the future could hold! 

Good news today! Our new apartment is ready this weekend! I'll be spending Friday moving into a new place. I am so excited for that! A clean slate, a fresh start, the apartment where we are now has gone down hill since we moved in, our neighbors started smoking inside their apartment and disregarded our pleas to stop, the rent went up but the quality and amenities didn't change. It has been depressing to live there, just as it had become depressing to go to work. I felt stuck in a loop and now I feel so free! 

Paul and I enjoyed dinner with our friends and neighbors Kirk and Leo who also had the missionaries over for dinner. It was wonderful to be close to friends and the spirit. We discussed Elder Holland's talk from Stake Conference this last weekend and he used a wonderful metaphor of a ship at sea caught in a storm, no matter what you do stay on the boat! stay close and ride it though. In relation to trials and hardships in life you can't just turn, run and avoid the situation you must work through it, things will get better just like the storm at sea will eventually pass. I am grateful for the wonderful friends and neighbors i have who have been supportive and kind at this time in my life. 

I wonder what new adventure and pebble of knowledge I will stumble across tomorrow.

Glass half full day

Well today has not been my favorite day, I have a lot to do and not much time to do it. I felt the need to write something seeing as it is my first post and seeing as it is the start to a new chapter in my life. Today I lost my job, based on false accusations of stealing... turns out what I was accused of stealing I actually already owned. Don't worry though I'm handling the situation civilly and fairly. On top of all of this our car broke down yesterday, Tom the mechanic said that we have probably been driving without a fan belt for a few days and it was just a mater of time till the battery died. It was both good and bad news and all I could do was laugh. 

All day today I have had my heart in my stomach, at points fighting back tears and others so overwhelmed with the irony of the situation that I can't help but laugh. I am grateful in some strange way for everything that has happened today with my job, last night with the car and a week ago with being accepted into a new apartment. Change is good! change is great! but change is hard, right now Paul and I are leaning on one another more than ever.

I am claiming that the loss of my job is a blessing, and an opportunity, I can now focus on school, on my marriage, and on seeking out new career opportunities. I am so close to graduating and we have been talking about weather or not I could quit my job, now that decision has been made for me. 

It is hard to describe the feeling of being fired, to be alone with my thoughts is painful, I feel similar to how I did when my grandmother died in 2005. exhausted but not tired, famished but not hungry, and parched but not thirsty. I am a walking contradiction today!